Self-Portrayal - Day 5

I spoke with my counselor today. My college counselor to be exact. Although I graduated already, the connection I formed with him is one that extends beyond talking about classes.

Talking with someone who is impartial and neutral yet cares enough to help others are a real gift to life. They point out your flaws but help you build up from there. Not only that, ranting about life with someone who is willing to give you their time is valuable.

So here is what I learned: I realized that when I begin to talk to someone about my innermost desires and thoughts, I get emotional, and my voice starts to tremble. I run out of breath and I start fidgetting with my hands.

Journaling can help me find a storyline from which I can start writing my first story. Looking back at my life and seeing common ground with others is an important step I wasn't sure how to achieve. Thankfully, my counselor, Angel, suggested it.

We often gloss over everyday moments in our life because we think that it is ordinary and unimportant. While we shouldn't obsess over our situations, we should acknowledge them and share them with others who might be in similar situations in the hopes of helping their journey in this life.

This leads me to my last lesson of today; I am writing a coming of age story that I can identify with. I watched Lady Bird a few months ago, and although I thought it was an enjoyable film, I couldn't connect with the character. It touched on common situations we all share regardless of our ethnicity, such as trying to figure out what we want from life, and finding ourselves in the process of living and making mistakes, but her background as a character did not affect me. And that's okay. But, a simple acknowledgment of this is not acceptable (at least for me). Stay on the lookout for progress on this exciting endeavor to self-portrayal.

Next time you talk to a professor or a counselor, or merely a person who crosses your path, remember that these people can offer an invaluable influence in your life that can push you towards new ideas. Keep going.

It's Hard - Day 4

Here I am writing my post. It a rushed post. I admit it. But I must stay consistent and keep writing. I've been hyper-aware of things that are part of my culture that is beautiful and worthy of being told. The way I drink my coffee or the way we find ways to make ends meet.
But aside from the somewhat normal problems, we face when aiming for a better life, the political climate has also taken a toll on my emotional state. Although I am somewhat "safe," this luxury does not extend to my parents and those that I love. And I realized this deep fear yesterday while I was driving.
I was heading to work and saw two cops stop a man who looked like my next door neighbor, as I was passing by I could see the anguish in the man's face, I could see that he was afraid. I couldn't help but tear up. I was seeing someone become detained. And although it is not common for the LA local police to share information with ICE agents over a traffic stop, I could sympathize with those who have been stopped by agents and later deported. What a heart-wrenching act.
I write this with a knot in my throat and pray for all those whose paths have been altered. I am unable to offer anything at the moment, but what I can say is that their stories will be told.

The Plot Thickens - Day 3

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I have a problem. I think too much.
I think to the point where it creates an alternate reality and essentially self-doubt. Overthinking is a common thing we hear, and we often brush it off as something "everyone does." And while it is true that a lot of us fall into the pit of endless thought, the serious impacts it can have on our lives are things we don't usually think about.
Which brings me to the realization that this overthinking we all experience in life is a human situation that brings us closer together but also drives us crazy. Why? Because it causes us to assume and arrive at conclusions that might hold no factual/logical ground.
So thinking about what I hope to write in the future, the internal problem of the characters (and humans in general) often arises from personal doubt and the desire to have others reciprocate how we feel and how we see the world. We crave for interaction. Hence, it goes without saying that these expectations are usually unmet. So, in a sense, this should not be the driving force of a narrative, but rather a tool used to push the story forward by creating anxiety, suspense, and damaging relationships that seem crucial.
In real life, however, these assumptions and expectations can overwhelm us and lead to unnecessary unhappiness. Let's not be those people. Let us be clear with our loved ones about the way we feel and why we are upset/concerned. It's a win-win situation, even if things don't turn out the way we expect them.

Take The Damn Step - Day 2

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Black Panther is coming out later this week. I. AM. EXCITED. I can't remember the last time I was so excited about a film. And although I don't identify as "black," the effect of seeing so many people of color on the big screen has had a massive impact on me.
What I mean is that it gives me hope for someone who is a minority to have their story told not just because it's "cool" or the "trend," but because it is time to see empowering characters who are taking control of their life and story that actually look like you! That is a powerful thing, and I want to be part of that movement for my Latino community and beyond. I want to tell the stories of my community that go beyond ethnicity. Real problems we all share. Like Issa Rae and Gina Rodriguez, I want to make Latinos/immigrants/minorities relatable and loveable and shift the perception of power and privilege.
So what does all that have to do with anything? Well, I've recently (and finally) made a decision to dive into the world of entertainment. Not because I hope for fame and recognition, but because I want to see people who look like me. People who come from similar backgrounds as me and the people I share my life with. And I've been drilling into my head that this won't be easy and the thought of it is both exhilarating and terrifying.
Will it work out? do I have what it takes? can I make this happen? will it pay off? I Don't know. But I'm taking the first step right, right? Right. It's time to tell the stories of those who have been ignored and place them at the center of the American storyline. Heck, the human storyline.

Creating Habits - Day 1

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About two days ago, I finished a book titled, "Manage Your Day-to-Day: Build Your Routine, Find Your Focus, and Sharpen Your Creative Mind," and it was a slap in the face. I needed to read the harsh truth about being creative. I needed to be slapped in the face to realize that those who succeed are those who do things even when they don't want to.
Don't get me wrong, I knew being a creative was hard, but even then I couldn't see it applicable to me. Of course, that's not true and that was an important realization for me. I want to do a lot of things, but I won't get there if dismiss the grueling process that great work requires.
I have been having great ideas lately (at least that's what I would like to think), but the problem is that they have remained just that, ideas. One of my goals is to write a short story, a short film about my experience on this earth. But in my head, this is somehow supposed to happen "when I'm ready," "when I'm prepared," "when I'm a better writer." And as I type this I can feel my mind grasping to the idea that that is how things work out, that my work will arise from a random moment of inspiration and spill out of my mind onto a word document with no trouble. In reality, however, this will never happen if I don't place myself in the circle or writing.
This is my attempt to develop a habit of writing so I can soon write a VERY rough short story. I have promised myself that I will write every day in the hopes of improving my writing and storytelling. I'm cringing at the lack of structure of this post, and my inability to have smooth transitions that connect my thoughts. But consistency and creating a visual blueprint for my long-term goals is a relief and an exciting new chapter in my life. I hope you can join me in my journey.

UNEMPLOYED AND HAPPY?

You are what you eat. But are you where you work? Or the lack thereof?
I graduated two months ago, and I'm unemployed. Which has given rise to a question that has been haunting me for a few weeks, can I be unemployed and happy?
Think about it. Often, we place a lot of value on being busy. Busy is the new cool and if you are not tired, running place to place, or wired on coffee or an energy drink are you really part of the cool-kids club?
I might be exaggerating, but slowing down after being busy for a long time is odd. My system is not used to it, and my self-confidence has taken a toll. Doubt begins to creep in, and I find myself questioning my worth and capabilities. I'm I fit for the world? Can I make it?
The problem with this mindset lies in my desire to have someone acknowledge me and provide me with feedback. And I think this stems from the school system. Whether the professor acknowledged me or not, there was always a clear response to my work. I either got an A or an F. There was a clear correlation between how hard I worked to how well I did. Of course, there are situations where hard work does not always translate, but there was still a clear grade for me to see.
I've been in school all my life until now, and I am subconsciously waiting for someone to grade me. To acknowledge me and tell me what to do. But that is not how real life works and my "grades" will no longer be in the form of a letter.
Getting a good grade provided me with the self-assurance that I was doing something right, that I wasn't lagging behind. But now I find myself conflicted because there is no specific thing I can point out to that represents who I am. And that is scary. But it's also liberating.
When I was stressed about my grades I would repeat to myself "grades don't define you." And I still truly believe in that, but the thought of seeing a measure of my being seems much easier than trying to figure it out on my own.
So to answer my question. YES. You can be unemployed and happy. You can be happy if you give yourself tasks that will get you a little closer to where you want to be, even if you don't know where you want to end up. You can be happy if you begin to see your self-worth not based on the work you have or how much you make a year, but in what you can offer to those around you.
Although I do hope to get a job sometime soon, I will find my happiness in myself and not in others. So yes, be happy and unemployed. Afterall, you can always become your own boss and create your empire. You just have to be consistent and lay your bricks with love and care.

Until next time.

DISCOVER: JARRITOS MADE ME CRY

Clare Hollingworth changed the world. Her story not only shows that women have always had a significant role in history but also demonstrates that your breakthrough can happen at any time in your life. But this can only happen if you trust your knowledge as well as your work. Because without it, Clare would have probably never broken the news which altered the entire world. Afterall, what you do with passion will get you to places you never knew existed and will transform you into someone you never thought you would become. 
Jarritos Commercial Yes. A soda commercial made me cry. And for your information, I don't drink soda, but this made me want to. Haha. Jokes aside, this commercial made me realize that my story is important. I am someone that needs to expand outside of herself and someone that needs to share who she is. Who cares if people will point their fingers at you, or criticizes you? In the end, it doesn't matter because they are not you. So grab a few tissues before watching this. You're welcome boo.
Women's March around the world. It has been about half a year since the women's march took place. I had the opportunity of attending the LA Women's March (here's a photo of me) this past January and it was truly an experience. I have never seen so many people gather in one place marching for a common cause. There were so many people that I was stuck on the streets of DTLA! Entire streets Y'all! In either case, watching the video above brought a sense of joy and hope knowing that millions of people stood against inhumane laws and equal rights.
'Destino' by Salvador Dali.  Time. A topic that often haunts our minds. Salvador Dali had a beautiful mind whose concept of time is always distorted and questioned. In the film above, the observer discovers the bind of man to time and its inability to evade its end. The beauty of this film is not only in its drawings but in its portrayal of a life worthwhile. A life filled with love.